Anxiety is a natural and common emotional response to stress and can serve as a protective mechanism by alerting us to potential dangers. However. It also becomes excessive, overwhelming or chronic and can interfere with daily life and well-being, leading to what is known as an anxiety disorder.
Anxiety is the most common childhood psychiatric condition.
These can start as early as age 4 and affect how adolescents function at home, in school and with peers.
We are going to be addressing today’s topic in 2 parts - so Sit Tight.
What do we say to the kids when consciousness-shifting events happen?
What do we say to the kids when they experience anxiety in their personal and school lives?
What do we say to the kids when consciousness-shifting events happen?
Let’s reflect on the 'where were you when’ periods of our lives.
Many of us heard stories from our parents & grandparents, recounting where they were when significant historical events unfolded. Examples include when Abacha was killed or when the Biafra Republic was declared. These are shared experiences often causing disruption to our daily lives and frequently leading to shifts in our beliefs, behaviours or even policies. These are transformative occurrences referred to as consciousness-shifting events.
For young people, our "Where were you when" moments are exemplified by events such as the EndSars Protest, The COVID-19 Lockdown, or the Ebola Outbreak. These are events I vividly recall experiencing that significantly affected daily life and education. Schools were closed, and Curfews were imposed.
Similar to healthcare professionals, educators assume a pivotal role as frontline workers. They bear the responsibility for the physical and emotional well-being of the students entrusted to their care. Given this crucial role, silence is not an option. There is a moral imperative to speak about these events and address the emotions students may have at this time. These include a wide variety of social crises, civil unrest, community violence and global & national pandemics.
Children are not exempt from the emotional impact of these events. They may experience anxiety, fear, sadness, and confusion, which are entirely normal emotional responses. In today's world, these emotions can be amplified by the influence of social media.
The disruption of routine can be particularly challenging for children who thrive on structure and predictability.
Social isolation can hinder a child's social and emotional development, making it difficult for them to engage in collaborative learning and acquire crucial social skills.
The increased stress experienced by families during times of crisis can have a significant impact on a child's well-being. Children possess an incredible capacity to absorb their surroundings, they are sponges. We must never underestimate how much information and emotions they can perceive and internalise.
Extended periods of school closure or disruption can result in learning gaps, with children falling behind in their studies. Unfortunately, Nigeria has not yet reached a point where all schools can seamlessly conduct online classes. When students return to school, there is often a rushed effort to catch up on missed content.
This brings us to the important question of ‘What do we say to the kids?’
Restore a Sense of Safety: Within the classroom, this entails facilitating breathing and mindfulness exercises. These practices help students to self-regulate and calm the fight-or-flight regions of their brain. While it may be challenging to discern the individual impact of these various events on children in a classroom, it unquestionably takes a toll on their mental well-being, ultimately influencing their capacity to learn. School serves a crucial role in fostering emotional development, not solely intellectual growth.
It is within the school environment that students must acquire the skills to self-regulate and navigate their emotions, particularly as they transition into adolescence. This foundation equips them to become adults with strong relationships, leadership qualities, and empathy, creating a safe and supportive atmosphere for themselves and their peers.
Circle Time: To instil in children the ability to acknowledge fear and vulnerability, our educators must also learn to do the same. A prevalent issue amongst Nigerian adults and teachers is the challenge of expressing emotions effectively, which can result in a cycle of negative responses & misplaced emotions. You often find that teachers who are experiencing high levels of stress in a turbulent economy, tend to direct their frustrations to the children they teach. The use of talking circles facilitates the exploration of emotions, allowing us to transition from the survival-oriented part of our brain to a more emotionally regulated state. This could be a great technique that is also used in staff meetings.
Being vulnerable or emotional does not come easy to the average Nigerian. It is very easy to assume that this might not have a great impact on students.
Top Tip: The best way to convince Nigerian Adults is to throw facts and research at them. It limits how much resistance they will have to change. - Thank me later!
Let's look at some studies that have shown the effectiveness of this:
Do you see the benefits?
Empowering Action: The most effective approach to assist children in navigating consciousness-shifting events is by teaching them the art of taking action. Encourage children to take the lead in protests, express their opinions on social issues, take an active part in public health and engage in thoughtful debates. We must motivate our students to develop the skills they need to raise awareness about crucial community matters and garner support. Rejecting feelings of helplessness and moving away from deficit-based thinking, we should harness both individual and community assets to advocate for change and drive positive transformation within their society. Never tell or imply to a child a situation is hopeless. They will take up the same mindset and change will never happen. This is the path toward nurturing individuals who possess the ability to create meaningful and enduring change in their communities. This is how we make leaders.
What do we say to the kids when they experience anxiety in their personal and school lives?
Almost every Nigerian student can think back to a time when they were in class or school, and had a teacher shout, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" "WHY ARE YOU CRYING?" "ARE YOU A BABY?" "WHY ARE YOU GIVING ATTITUDE?"- especially on days when you are just not smiling.
Question for the teachers or educators reading this, Why did you think this was effective?
I have heard teachers and adults say things like, “What do you have to be sad about, you’re just a child’. As if age determines one's legitimacy in having emotions. Unfortunately, such remarks do not contribute to children's understanding of their emotions or their ability to manage them effectively. Instead, they foster a harmful cycle of suppression of emotions, which often manifests in various negative behaviours.
Students will experience anxiety in various forms, stemming from different aspects of their lives. This may include concerns about their personal lives, stressors originating from their homes, social interactions, and, most significantly, the pressures of academics. Among these, a common source of anxiety observed in many students today is the fear of failure. The fear of failing and the dread of disappointment are exceedingly widespread among Nigerian students. The expectation is to achieve nothing less than excellence. Given how academic success is perceived, it becomes all too easy for individuals to link their self-worth directly to their academic accomplishments.
Story, Story?
For the longest time, I held a belief about myself, that I was simply "Subomi, the smart girl." I was frequently labelled with terms like 'efico' and 'Igi iwe,' signifying someone who excels academically or possesses book smarts. I embraced these labels wholeheartedly, relishing in the recognition of my intelligence.
Yet, this focus on academic achievement left me neglecting other facets of my life, as it seemed more than enough to please the educators around me.
However, this narrow view of my identity shattered when I entered university and realised that failure was a very real possibility. Suddenly, I found myself grappling with a profound question:
"If I am no longer the girl who gets all As, who am I?"
This inquiry haunted me daily, as the fear of failure, is now a palpable reality. I had lost my personality. I no longer knew who Subomi was.
My anxiety deepened, particularly around school, exams, and the looming presence of failure. I became paralysed by the fear of falling short, to the extent that I refrained from attempting anything if there was even a remote chance of not excelling. My anxiety grew to the point where I couldn't sleep without nightmares of academic failure, and I resorted to endless, fruitless studying in my sleep-deprived state.
As exams approached, I experienced severe panic attacks, and even checking my results felt like confronting the apocalypse. It was at this juncture that I recognised the need for help. Fortunately, I sought therapy sessions that played a crucial role in addressing these overwhelming feelings. While the intensity of these struggles heightened in university, the signs were present in secondary school, albeit overlooked. Even back then, if I received a B in a subject or on a test, I interpreted it as my world crumbling. It may sound irrational, but as a 13-year-old, I was terrified of disappointing my teachers and parents by not achieving the expected grades. I was equally terrified of losing my sense of self because, in my mind, "Who is Subomi if she doesn't get all As?"
It's important to clarify that academic achievements should be celebrated, but they should not define a child's entire identity. To alleviate the anxiety that children often experience regarding their grades, schools and teachers must foster an environment where one's self-worth is not solely tied to the number of A's they receive. Even when a child attains high grades, their personal development should remain a central focus. Likewise, when a child doesn't achieve straight A's, they must understand that life holds much more than just good grades. Academic performance is neither the beginning nor the end of a successful and fulfilling life journey.
Let's do a quick anxiety workshop:
When you notice a child is experiencing these symptoms, here's what to do!
Please, I beg you, do not shout. It does not work. When a child is crying or stressed about anything, from struggling to understand concepts in class to not being social or having a rough day, DO. NOT. SHOUT. AT. THEM.
There are 3 categories of phrases that strike a chord with children: safety, phrases linked to physiology and phrases that validate.
Important to Note: I cannot stress this enough: if a child confides in you about something that troubles them, it's crucial not to use it against them in the future. Respect their trust by refraining from sharing their concerns with others, whether they be peers or teachers. Cultivate the ability to maintain confidentiality and be a dependable, safe space for your students.
When a child is in a state of being overwhelmed, their thinking and speaking brains will be offline and they will be unable to process our words; but the tone and rhythm and cadence of a much-repeated phrase will feel reassuring and help them to move to a calmer state. As they begin to calm down, they will finally be able to start to process and connect with what we’re saying.
I hope you incorporate some of these tips, the next time you notice a child or student experiencing anxiety. I find it is extremely difficult to explain being anxious to people who may not experience this as often. Please empathise, even if you don't understand. Being present for the student, or your friend or family members who have anxiety does wonders. Be patient.
If you have any questions or comments, pop them into the comment section.
See you soon!
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